Every now and then, I, like most everyone else, experience this desperate desire to relive some little fragment of my childhood. I think typically the kind of fragment varies from person to person, depending on what their childhood was like. For example, someone who had a light and whimsical childhood might like to go outside and blow bubbles every once in a while. Someone who had a lonely childhood might like to go sit inside a dark closet for several hours at a time. As for me? My childhood was...well...fat.
So I'm about to share this with you guys, but this can't get out, okay? If it did, I don't know what I'd do, how I'd survive the shame, the humiliation! But because I love you and trust you, I'm going to tell you about what I did tonight.
Please don't judge me. It was a rare moment of weakness.
Every birthday, my mom would bake me a cake. Never buy - always bake herself. From a box. Betty Crocker was an annual guest for my little Geburtstag. And every time, my mom would let me lick the beaters, dripping with cool, gooey cake batter and maybe - just maybe - she would let me scrape the big silver bowl with a spoon or a spatula for the remnants of the batter inside.
Some people would never eat raw cake batter. Eww, they say. This has raw eggs, they say. This can give you salmonella or cervical cancer, they say. I don't have a cervix anyway, and to these people, I put on my Marie Antoinette costume and shout "Let me eat cake!"
Just kidding. About the Marie Antoinette costume. I was telling the truth about not having a cervix.
I think.
Anyway, tonight, my heart had a craving for these memories (and, okay, the rest of me may have had a craving of a different sort. Sue me) and I ventured downstairs and whipped myself up a bowl full of cake batter. Throw in the bag of powder, crack in three eggs, 1 cup water, 1/3 cup Vegetable Oil.
N.B. - Yellow cake batter made with oil is far inferior to yellow cake batter made with butter. The butter in the batter make the batter become better.
So yes, I made this bowl full of bake batter. And then...
And then...
Oh, man, I can't stand it!
And then I ate it!!!!
Please don't hate me. I have a sickness.
